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The Crit-a-Cola, known in full as Bonk! Crit-a-Cola, is a secondary weapon for the Scout. It is a purple soda can manufactured by the Bonk! company, and sports the tagline 'Manliness guaranteed!'. This is generally considered a high-reward-medium-risk utility tool. This weapon takes 2.4 seconds to activate, lasts for 8 seconds, and takes 22 seconds to recharge or instantly thorugh a resupply locker. While active, the user deals mini-crits (35% extra damage) to all enemy players, and takes 10% more damage while active in return. If the user is pushed into the air or water while taunting, the taunt will stop but the weapon will appear to be consumed but will not give the effects. Also, while under its effects, the user moves 25% faster which will not stack with the Baby Face's Blaster. This weapon used to make the user take mini-crits while active, making it very dangerous to use. Later, it was changed to a 25% more damage penalty, making it a less risk weapon and more balanced. Then, it was changed to the current 10% damage vulnerability which makes this a significantly less risky weapon to use, as the extra damage taken is now less than a third of what it was before, 10% to 35%. It is very effective to use before an ambush, particularly if there are few high-value targets to take out such as a fully-übercharged Medic, In these cases using the Force-A-Nature for its sheer burst damage is a good idea, or the Shortstop for the moderately sized clip, fast reload and fast firing speed.

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