Team Fortress Wiki
Register
Advertisement
Meet the Demoman
Meet the Demoman TF2
Released October 9, 2007
Run time 1:45

Synopsis[]

Script[]

["Meet the Demoman" text appears"]

[Opening fanfare of "Drunken Pipe Bomb" plays as the Demoman narrowly escapes a massive explosion while jumping from a drop-down corridor in Gravel Pit]

[Freeze frame]

Demoman: "What makes me a good Demoman?"

[Cut to Demoman, sitting in a room full of explosives]

Demoman: "If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I?"

["Drunken Pipe Bomb" resumes playing]

[Demoman charges into battle along with Team RED while dodging a cascade of rockets]

Demoman: "Let's do it!"

Demoman: "Not one of ya's gonna' survive this."

[Cut back to the Demoman's room, music pauses.]

Demoman: "One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and KABLOOIE!"

[Cut back to battle, music resumes.]

[The Demoman bounces a grenade off a wall and Gibs a pursuing Pyro]

[Cut to scene of the Demoman chugging from his Bottle of scrumpy]

[A level 2 Sentry Gun upgrades to level 3]

[Cut to scene of the Demoman continuing to chug from his Bottle of scrumpy]

[Sentry Gun fires rockets at the Demoman]

[Cut to a close up of the Demoman's face, still chugging from his Bottle of scrumpy]

[The Demoman dodges the rockets as a nearby Scout is gunned down by the Sentry. The Demoman then fires two grenades, destroying the Sentry Gun]

[Cut back to Demoman's room, music stops.]

[The Demoman slams the now empty Bottle down on the table, breathing heavily]

[Camera blurs]

Demoman: "I got a manky eye. I'm a black, Scottish cyclops.

[The Demoman knocks a grenade off the table, arming it in the process (it begins to blink)]

Demoman: They've got more f-[censored] than they've got the likes of me."

[The Demoman starts to drink from the empty Bottle, then notices the camera and becomes lucid again]

Demoman: "So...."

[The ending segment of "Drunken Pipe Bomb" starts to play]

Demoman: "....T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cocksure!"

[The Demoman runs out to the final capture point in Gravelpit and is shocked to see a group of BLU team members charging towards him with smug expressions on their faces. A devious look comes over the Demoman's face and he runs away with BLU in hot pursuit]

Demoman: "Prancin' aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say! [The Demoman finds a door frame and suddenly gets his idea. As the BLU team charges toward him, they are unaware of the stickybombs the Demoman placed.] I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the 'ol brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable....with an unhappy bloody end!"

[The BLU team arrives, but they see the Demoman calmly drinking from his bottle. The BLU Heavy then notices the sticky bombs around the door frame, and his expression changes from smugness to shock. The Demoman throws a mock salute and activates the sticky bombs, gibbing all his pursuers]

[The Demoman walks up to (presumably) a decapitated head, laughing merrily as body parts and blood rain down around him.]

Demoman: "Oh, they're going to have to glue you back together... IN HELL!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, accompanied by bagpipes]

Video[]

Trivia[]

Advertisement