Heavy: Oh, me back. Well, here goes another useless attempt to sleep on me mount less, lumpy mattress.[lays on his mattress] Huh, that's qu**r. Me mattress seems strangely c*zy and butter-l*ke... [falls asleep]
Scout, Demoman & Engineer: Surpr*se!
Heavy: Armageddon! Wh*t? Oh, you? What in the blue eye scallop are you guys doing in me bedr**m?
Scout: We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy, old mattr*ss.
Engineer: So I suggested we get you a new one.
Demoman:[talking to Scout] I thought it was your idea.
Heavy: So, where's me old mattr*ss th**? [fury goes up]
Engineer: Don't worry, Mr. Heavy, I took care of that personally, me t**. I had it hauled away to the dump.
Heavy:[jumps on Engineer] All my money was in that mattr*ss.
Engineer: What? Haven't you ever heard of a b**k?
Heavy: No! [walks backward, hits his lamp and trashes some books]